also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
