U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
