So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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