yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
