LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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