Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
