I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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