I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We left the knife in your bed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
