she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
