you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
