can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
