I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
