hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
