Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
