I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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