I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
