apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
