I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
