I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
