hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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