Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
