I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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