we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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