Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
