watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
