Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This baby is an asshole
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
