I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize