Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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