My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
