Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize