We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
