:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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