I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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