No stitches, just platelets and will power
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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