I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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