And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
