When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize