I think i peed on brittanys purse
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
