She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize