Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize