there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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