Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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