In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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