That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
