my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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