First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
