Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
