Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
