i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
