all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
