I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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