i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
