so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
