just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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