All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
