What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
