were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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