Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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