Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
