Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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