id be glad to
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
