4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
