This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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