there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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