Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
